Don’t ever let anyone tell you that money doesn’t matter – money matters – and for very good reasons – food, mortgage, college funds, retirement plans – to name a few. We all want and need money, more money is better by far than less money and how you have decided to spend that money is what brings on most of the fighting in relationships – because in all likelihood, no decisions have been made. Random spending becomes the norm.
For every fight there could b first fight in relationship three or four different reasons for it that day. Fights tomorrow might be caused by three or four reasons different than yesterday, and so it goes. Too often, however, the fight isn’t really about money at all.
Following are five situations that can cause money problems in your relationship:
-Trying to please your partner might be one of the problems in the money sector of your relationship. That long forgotten vacation that there were no funds for, rears its ugly head – an advertisement in a magazine showing happy people on the beach, in the sun or at the pool, laughing and having fun – brings back the longing of a trip not taken. Spending on vacations that haven’t been pre-planned and saved for puts a huge dent in a budget. Open a vacation savings account – next year is only 365 days away.
-Having a horrible week at the office, nothing went right and it all began on Monday morning when you got out of bed and the coffee maker wouldn’t work. Everything went down hill from there right through Friday afternoon when you had to work late to meet a deadline. Saturday looms big and bright – shopping would relieve some of the week’s stress – and that’s where you go, shopping, just to pick up a few things at Best Buy. A $1000 computer later, and a budget in shambles. Now that’s an eye opener – a battle call.
-Your wife came home last night with the biggest news of her life. She is being considered for one of the top positions in her firm and the raise will be huge. The excitement of the moment has you both hugging and kissing, a celebration is in order, but you both decide to wait until she really gets the position, before celebrating. A week later, the job is hers! Let the party begin, and it does – dinner for two, her favorite wine, and dancing ’til midnight. Happiness abounds, until you start to realize that with her new raise, you just traded places in the earning department – she makes more money than you by about 20K and the perks overshadow yours. OMG moments like these need to be addressed before the issues get out of hand. Be glad, make a plan.
-Spending without a plan always causes problems. You think you have this much money in the bank but your partner spent most of it. You are at the grocery store, your bags are filled to the brim, and your debit card doesn’t clear, the frustration and embarrassment of times like these cause huge fights because of sheer lack of communication. Talk to each other for gods sake.
-Your neighbor gave his wife a new car for her birthday, a cute little two-seater, BMW sports model, bright red. Your wife turned green with envy – if envy-green could glow, she would have lite up the entire block. Her begging for a new car for over three months turns you into a monster. She’s relentless, your anniversary is looming and you know that she is just waiting to see if you step up to the plate and deliver her new car on the chosen day. And you do! You schmuck…now you’ve really done it. The expense of the new car is going to put your budget on overload for the next 2 ½ years because you couldn’t stop her demands to keep up with the Carter’s next door. Buckle up honey, let the ride begin.