Emotional intelligence is a valuable skill, because it means you know how to work with all kinds of people, understand them and get along with them. Once you understand emotional intelligence, you can see the people around you who have it, and those who don’t: at work, in politics, in the media and in your neighborhood. The media use both EI and EQ (like IQ) as shortcuts for emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is akin to empathy. It’s the ability to “read” other people’s feelings, and respond in an appropriate way. Emotionally intelligent people succeed because they form good connections with others, are trusted and liked. When you understand how and when to be sympathetic, supportive, direct, and trustworthy or gentle with people, they trust you and learn to rely on you. This creates a framework for business and personal interactions that form lasting, productive relationships.
To develop emotional intelligence, you must learn to focus not only on test DISC your own wants and needs, but the wants and needs of others. This requires learning delayed gratification, patience, and concern for more than just the bottom line. Emotional Intelligence is also essentially emotional maturity, which means your mind can manage your emotions. According to Goleman, the five characteristics of emotional intelligence are: Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills.
• Self-Awareness: People with high EI understand their emotions, and because of this, they don’t let their feelings rule them. They know the difference between feeling and thinking, and can use thinking to moderate feelings, without ignoring them or quashing them. They’re confident-because they trust their intuition and their good judgment, which is a result of using feelings and intelligent thought to assess situations. People who have emotional intelligence are willing to take an honest look at themselves, see themselves realistically. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better. They have realistic positive self-regard, which means they have reasonable standards for their own good behavior. They care about others, but are not co-dependent. They can set boundaries for their own self-protection. This self-awareness is an essential foundation of EI.
• Self-Regulation: Also known as self-control and impulse control, this is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don’t allow themselves to become too angry or jealous; they don’t have temper tantrums or hysterical outbursts and they don’t make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act or react. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, integrity, and the ability to say no. They are good at delayed gratification, understanding that waiting for what they want may bring better results. They operate on an internal code of ethics rather than a standard of behavior which is imposed from without.
• Motivation: People with a high degree of EI are usually motivated. They’re willing to defer immediate results for long-term success. They’re highly productive, love a challenge, and are very effective in whatever they do. They understand that motivation comes from celebration and appreciation, and are willing to motivate themselves and others when appropriate.
